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Monthly Archives: August 2012

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Real Life Stories From Magazineland

August 30, 2012 by thevagenda

‘Real life stories’: those pinnacles of taste and substance. Now, we’ve all taken a perverse and possibly guilty pleasure in surreptitiously flicking through the nearest magazine at W H Smith’s in an airport to find out whether her liver really was haunted by a Teletubby or not (no? Just me?) but generally, in our day-to-day […]

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Vagina Panic

August 30, 2012 by thevagenda

    Hey, lady. I know it’s been all quiet on the Western Front (Cunt?) this week, but I need to ask you something. Ready? OK.   When was the last time you had a cervical smear?   I know. Fuck ME, right? What a drag. You’re probably clicking on the little x in the […]

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Letters to the Lady Garden

August 24, 2012 by thevagenda

Picture stolen from here So. Emer still gets letters about her body hair. Here is one:  From More: > Hi Emer > I hope you are well? > I saw that you have written quite a few articles for the Guardian and I was just wondering whether you would be interested in taking part in […]

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Unbabying The Internet

August 23, 2012 by thevagenda

What is it about women and babies? You can’t log in to Facebook nowadays without a dilating 3D foetal heart monitor with an Epidural on its head looking you straight in the eye. One friend confided to me recently that a previously sane person he was acquainted with had just given birth to a child […]

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Me and My Weave

August 22, 2012 by thevagenda

    I was 20 years old when I got my first weave. I’ve always used hair extensions, since I was a little girl. I’d have my hair braided into extensions and wear my hair in long braids. The weave I got was sewn into most of my hair and I’d used my own relaxed […]

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Wigging Out: On Weaves, Naomi Campbell, and Vertical Barnets

August 22, 2012 by thevagenda

    COR BLIMEY, HAVE YOU SEEN NAOMI CAMPBELL’S HAIR?   If not then this is where the Fail comes in – humiliating people for personal gain since 1896.    And yet miraculously, she looked smoking hot and amazing with all the other smoking hot, amazing supermodels in the Olympic Closing Ceremony last week (not […]

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Real Things Said By Grazia Journalists

August 20, 2012 by thevagenda

We all know that the Grazis are nothing if not self-parodying geniuses of workaday humour. And sometimes they may feel that their efforts have been ignored – but not today, darlings. It may have taken me a few days of digestion, but, like sweetcorn, I have taken it in, absorbed the vital ingredients, and will […]

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Competitive Rape Defining

August 20, 2012 by thevagenda

    Hey there, old white man in a position of political power. Come and sit down. I have some beef to discuss. Yes, it’s ok for you to sit there. I have given my consent. Do you know what consent is? Consent is me giving you permission to do something. Got that, OK? So […]

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Dear Every Magazine Ever,

August 20, 2012 by thevagenda

Please, please, PLEASE stop telling me to cook for my man wearing nothing but an apron. I’m talking about this kind of shit (courtesy of Glamour US):   Lady columnist: I do not care what you and your friends get up to in your own homes. That’s your affair. But magazines constantly implying that I […]

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70s Cosmo

August 20, 2012 by thevagenda

How much has really changed? Take a look over on our New Statesman blog for tips on how to handle failed erections, what men want in a wife, and how to turn a Middle Eastern aeroplane hijack into a pulling opportunity…

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I’d Rather Have A Cup of Tea

August 19, 2012 by thevagenda

All right, I’m just going to come out and say it: sometimes, I don’t want to have sex. I’m a young, virile woman in the prime of my life, and half the time, I’m just not interested in how doing it upside down will give you a ‘totally amazing’ rush of blood to head at […]

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Top Ten Songs About Losing Your Virginity

August 17, 2012 by thevagenda

1. The Runaways – Cherry Bomb This glam-tastic belter of a teenage rallying cry had to top our list of cherry-busting anthems. A song written by girls, about girls, sang by girls, The Runaways’ Cherry Bomb is practically masterful in its sheer empowerment and claim for ownership of teen lust, largely thanks to Joan Jett’s […]

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